A Ba$t@rd's Thoughts on Manhood

I recently wrote an op-ed piece as an assignment for a class I am taking through Mars Hill Church in Seattle. That article can be seen here. The assignment was to interpret and comment on a particular aspect of culture from a Christian worldview. I have invited some of my friends from the Albuquerque portion of the class to share their papers as a guest post on this blog. I will be sharing some of their pieces over the next few weeks. As a side note, several of their papers deal specifically with Albuquerque culture. However, all of them have some great insights that are relevant and applicable to a variety of cultures. Enjoy!

A Ba$t@rd's Thoughts on Manhood

 Growing up in a city just like me     by Brandon Kirk

I was lucky. My mom had a job and worked hard to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. My grandparents were able to care for me while my mom went to school to be a paramedic. My mom and my grandparents were loving, kind, and caring. By all accounts, I had a good childhood. The only problem? I, like 60% of the kids in New Mexico, grew up without a dad.  More than half of the kids in our state will go to bed without a father to hug them, kiss them, and tell them how much he loves them. And many of the other 40% have an absent or abusive dad. Albuquerque has a man problem. 

The Albuquerque Journal is filled with stories about these children. I did not have a childhood like Jayden Smith who, at 11 months old, was beaten by his mom and her boyfriend. If he survives, he will have total paralysis on the entire left side of his body. I did not have a childhood like Alizandra Jasso who, at 3 years old, was murdered by her mom's boyfriend for soiling her pants. She was slammed down on the toilet and, after crying "no daddy, no," was thrown against a shower door and left to die. On top of the rampant child abuse, 45 men have been arrested in the last 8 months in a child sex sting run by Homeland Security and APD. New Mexico has a man problem.

There have been 3 prominent international cases where a girl has been raped while pictures of the assault showed up during the attack on social media like twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Two of those girls have killed themselves. Our world has a man problem.

A prominent New Testament figure, the Apostle Paul, wrote to warn a young pastor named Timothy that "people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God (2 Timothy 3:2-4 ESV)." All it takes is a quick glance through the Albuquerque Journal to know that this description fits our city, as well.

What this city, this state, this generation needs is men who are honorable and willing to protect women and children. We need men who take responsibility for themselves and their families so that women are cared for and children are provided for. We need good single men to marry single moms who have been abandoned by losers parading around as men. We need men to teach their sons that being a man doesn't mean being the opposite of a woman, it means using our strength for other's good. We need men to take their daughters on 'daddy dates' and snuggle so the girls know that they're loved and that they don't have seek the wrong kind of attention from adolescent boys. We need one-woman men who love their wives instead of jumping from girl to girl, leaving a trail of tears, abortions, and fatherless kids in their wake. As men, we need to raise the bar. Ultimately, what we need is men who are bathed in God's Word, forgiven and changed by Jesus, who love Albuquerque like Jesus loves Albuquerque.

But men, you're not alone, you're not too far gone, and you haven't blown it forever. God wants to be a Father to you, to forgive you and show you how to be a father like Him. He wants us to love Him and live in community with other men who love Him. He wants us to share our struggles because being a man isn't about being perfect, it's about being honest and being responsible for ourselves. Being a man is about worshipping Jesus and inviting others to do the same. We hold much power in this city because God has shared His title of 'Father' with men. Jesus wants to heal Albuquerque and He wants to use the men to do that.

I want my wife to know that Jesus is real and that He is good. I want my two sons to know that Jesus is the Perfect Man who loves us even though we are sinners. If God would so bless me with daughters, I want them to know that Jesus is the Great Protector who pursues sinners and makes them saints. I want Albuquerque to know that Jesus is the Great Healer who came to seek and save the lost and he can redeem a person no matter how far off they are from Him.

I grew up without a dad, so I struggle to know what it means to be a man. However, I can look to Jesus as the manliest Man to ever live. He was tough on religious bullies who tore down women and children. He was tender with the outcasts and the broken. He was fun and safe for children. He didn't run from responsibility but, instead, took responsibility for our sin. Though he never sinned, he died with the weight and punishment of our guilt on His shoulders. He is now the Risen King who rides into battle riding a great white horse wielding a fiery sword. He has conquered Satan, sin, and death to protect His kids and display His glory. He will destroy bullies, tyrants, thieves, and abusers. But He also died to offer His friendship and salvation to the worst of us. So, Christian or not, good or bad, come to Mars Hill Church and meet Jesus and men who love Him.

Brandon Kirk is a community group leader at Mars Hill Church. He and Andi, his beautiful wife of three years, have two boys together. He is a computer engineering student at UNM and has lived in Albuquerque his entire life.