Washington, church planting, uncertainty

It has been a few weeks since I've blogged. Anlee, Ezra and I were on vacation for two weeks in Georgia and Tennessee visiting friends and family and then on top of that, we are currently in a time of transition with lots of changes coming. This blog will be a little more personal than usual.

I am currently reading a biography of Jonathan Edwards (along with about 4 other books). At 46 years of age, Edwards was removed from the church where he had been a pastor for most of his life. A portion of a letter he wrote to a friend during this period resonated with me.

I am now, as it were, thrown upon the wide ocean of the world, and know not what will become of me and my numerous and chargeable family. Nor have any particular door in view that I depend upon to be opened for my future serviceableness...We are in the hands of God, and I bless him, I am not anxious concerning his disposal of us.

While I am not being removed from my current ministry position, I am leaving it and will be without a job in two weeks (unless something comes up before then). Two years ago, when Anlee and I moved back from South Korea and I took a position at this church in Midland, TX, I didn't figure I'd be looking for work again so soon or that I'd be considering going back to a non-ministry job, at least for a time.

But here I am. God has done a lot of work in my life over the past two years. I have changed and grown in ways that I never expected. Two years ago, I felt peace and confidence about getting back into a ministry job. I was completely content to serve in the areas of leading music/worship and leading youth. I had little to no desire to teach, preach, or serve in other leadership areas of the church. But God had other plans. I now find myself chomping at the bit to get all the experience and training I can get in the areas of teaching, preaching, and church leadership.

Furthermore, I have been having lots of thoughts of planting a church, another thing that I never wanted to do two years ago.

Let me make this clear. These are all things that I had no desire for two years ago. Nothing in me liked preaching. I would have been content never preaching again. I told this to the elders at my church this when I was getting hired. Now I think about preparing and giving sermons all the time. I've even had dreams about it. It's clear that this is a work of God and not just me deciding to change the nature of my desires and the course of my life.

Five months ago I communicated all of this to the elders of my church. I also told them that I felt something of a call to plant a church in my hometown of Stanwood. I didn't know if or when this would happen. I'm hesitant to say "God told me this", as I don't have an infallible ear. But I haven't been able to shake this sense that God is leading me to at least pursue the training and experience necessary for planting a church down the road.

So, that's how I find myself with two more weeks to go at my current position and a move to western Washington soon after that. I have no job prospects as of yet. We'll be living with my family for the time being. I have a wife and kid that I have the wonderful responsibility of providing and caring for. It is a somewhat unnerving time. As I said, I didn't expect to be here. I never could have planned this.

But like Jonathan Edwards, I hope in this: We are in the hands of God, and I bless him, I am not anxious concerning his disposal of us.